The Evil Side of Grocery Stores

Lately I have tried to make it a practice to go to the grocery store by myself, even if that means late night trips after the kids are in bed. But this week I ended up taking both boys with me. I was once again reminded why this is a BAD idea. Grocery stores have a sinister plot against mothers with young children. They make the experience as difficult as possible! Let me just list a few of the more evil methods used:
1. Getting in the door. Before you are even in the store you are met with those coin operate merry-go-rounds, gumball machines, and ancient arcade games, all of which can quickly lure otherwise good kids into the throws of a temper tantrum when Mom says "no".
2. Choosing a cart. Most stores only have two or three of the cool car carts. If they are not available, there is the potential for a meltdown. If one is available, you end up taking twice as long maneuvering down aisles in the unweildy things. You have to be careful not to take out unsuspecting old ladies when you try to turn corners.
3. The cereal aisle. Of course all the terrible, sugary cereals are right at kid eye-level. Stuff like Fruity Sugar Bombs and Chocolaty Cookie Hyper Crunch with Captain Cool Superhero on the box call out to little kids and somehow end up in your cart. This principle holds true if you go down the cracker and cookie aisle, too.
4. Toys. One word says it all. There are displays of ridiculously overpriced toys randomly placed throughout the store to tempt kids. Who in the world goes to the grocery store to buy toys? I can't figure out why they have them there unless it is just to annoy moms.
5. Getting through the checkout. Again, strategically placed candy and gum result in lots of pleading, whining, and often times tears (from the kids if they don't get a treat or from a guilty mom if she finally caves in to all the begging.)

So there you have it...just a brief list of the many reasons that dads should always be required to babysit when it is time for moms to go grocery shopping.